Sunday 28 December 2008

Review: All the boys love Mandy Lane

Year: 2008 (U.K General Release)
Director: Jonathon Levine
Screenplay: Jacob Forman
Starring: Amber Heard, Whitney Able, Anson Mount, Michael Welch



Hot Girls? Check. Dickhead Jock blokes? Check. Gory Set Pieces? Check. All the usual pieces are in place. However Levine's 70's style slasher is far too dull to be anything more than below standard horror film.

Levine's film takes an ice age to get going, preferring to bore the viewer with deary drug taking scenes and typical teen bitching before getting to what most people have come to see the movie for. Those who stay awake during these exceedingly boring moments will soon notice that Mandy Lame has no atmosphere or tension to speak of. The film has a brilliant setting for a horror movie and fails to utilize it, with Levine hardly using the farmhouse house at all. Maybe it's just me but generic chase scenes in a field just don't cut it, especially after 70 mins of badly decided MTV editing and faux 70's film filters. Levine's film shows how derivative the horror film can be these days.

The screenplays dialogue is believable enough but is dragged down by the fact that you will hate every character bar one (Hint: it's not Mandy Lane ). For a film which eludes slasher films of old the least this movie could do is include likable characters like they did. So not only do most of these characters take forever to die, but you'll have to grin and bear these assholes until they finally bite the bullet (or you leave the room). The relatively intriguing premise is marred by a bland narrative with a twist that is so unsurprising that you'll be more angry than shocked.

I guess it's a shame to all the attractive stars of the movie...or not. No one really stands out a such and they spew so much bile anyway you wouldn't care less if a huge explosion landed on the farmhouse and vaporize the fuckers.

Mandy Lane is just another pretender to the to the slasher throne. Unfortunately Mandy Lane can't compare to the Laurie Strodes and Sidney Prescotts of the genre. Even cult creatures such as Angela Baker have nothing to worry about as Mandy Lane will soon be relegated to the bargain bucket leagues.