Review: This Means War

Year: 2012
Director: McG
Screenplay: Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, Chris Pine

Synopsis is here

This weekend for me has, unfortunately, been a disastrous double bill of recent features that have made me cry out for improvement. The twitterverse, blogosphere and forums keep crying out for original movies to be made and I fully understand where they are coming from. However, when the original films being made are as vapid, predictable and bland as this, then I will happily enjoy the retreads, rehashes and reimaginings. An American remake of a good movie, still often has decent material to back it up. This Means War is the sort of sub-par feature film; that has the writers of HBO laughing their arses off. Please note, they're not laughing because the jokes in this film are any good.

In fact not much of This Means War is any good. It is a film in which one of the CIA agents; FDR (Pine), breaks and enters the love interest, Lauren (Witherspoon) house to gain knowledge of her, obtains said knowledge by staring at it full on in the face, then promptly forgets in pretty much the next scene. Other reviews have mentioned the gross invasion of privacy in such scenes. I'm not particularly worried because it appears that these seemingly young, fit and healthy men have a shocking case of alzheimers.

It's not as if the females get a fairer shake of the rattle. While on a date with FDR, Lauren leaves his living room and Tuck (Hardy) shoots FDR with a tranquillizer dart. FDR pulls the dart out but falls to the sofa asleep. Lauren re-enters the room and is annoyed that her date is asleep because she wanted to get laid. What annoys me is that she can't see the massive dart resting beside her date. It's not hard to see, and a cut away of the dart rolling away would cover the tracks. The film plays out as if all the audience are affected by extreme ADD.

Small yet frustrating factors aside, This Means War fails for me simply because it doesn't know what to do with it's young and talented cast. Witherspoon is an actress with a Meg Ryan cuteness and a huge amount of comic potential that is wasted in scene after scene. Tom Hardy looks like he's waiting for a phone call from Nicolas Winding Refn while Chris Pine has had the charisma vaccumed right out of him. None of the dialogue sparkles for any of them and none of them are given any real time or space to show that every one of these actors can actually be quite amusing.

But then again this is a McG film, therefore all that matters is throwing as much at possible at the screen and hoping it sticks (See either Charlie's Angels film for example). The Micheal Bay-lite director once again gives us an ugly looking film (I have no idea how he gets that hideous colour scheme) that misunderstands overediting with being kinetic. Yet again the modern audience is give action sequences with little to no geography but what does it matter as long as people are seen dying and cars explode. Come to think of it, these CIA agents kill a lot of people needlessly in this sweet, harmless romantic comedy don't they? But then again such things matter in this as much as a coherent screenplay.

I think one of the worse things about This Means War, is the fact that the film constantly references films and filmmakers better than itself and it's creator. Watching McG imitate Martin Scorsese's Copacabana sequence from Goodfellas is an unfortunate tease, reminding me I could have been having more fun at home with something more entertaining.

Review: Project X

Year: 2012

Director: Nima Nourizadeh

Screenplay: Michael Bacall and Matt Drake

Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown

Synopsis is inconsequential is there doesn't appear to be a story. 

What the fuck ever happened to the Teen Film? I walked out of the Project X and that's the first thought that stuck me as I left the theatre. They never used to be as belligerent as this. From your the likes of Animal House (1978) to Ferris Bueller (1986) to my favourite film House Party (1990), there was always a certain element of charm and innocence to the films, lest not their leads. A reason to follow them and spur them on when they "get the girl".

Project X is what you get when you shoehorn a sub par American Pie direct to DVD sequel into a sub-genre that is getting overused at the best of times. But there's more. A liberal sprinkling of MTV reality T.V morals is added to the mix (fame is everything) just to show how insidious the undertones of this movie is. I would send a pox on this film, if it wasn't already so sickly.

Utilizing the trend of "found footage" - despite looking like an tediously over-long, slick music video half of the time, Project X details a weakly told tale of a boys birthday party gone wrong. The idea of lurid teen horniness, pranks and parties going array isn't really a big thing. Films like Superbad (2007) and T.V Series' such as Skins (2007) have their sticky foundation based on such elements. Even last year; one of the biggest British hits of the year was of course The Inbetweeners Movie, a film which managed captures the awkwardness of adolescence that was brought across in the T.V series before it. The thing is, all the above examples do well to at least try and counterbalance some of the more dubious morals on display. But then again none of the above examples have anyone as vile as Costa.

Costa is a character whose lack of remorse or care for anything except his love for "pussy" and "bitches" is a almost as off-putting as the dubious Jewish stereotype that's bestowed on him. But then again this is a character whose quick to use "nigga" in a film in which no black characters say anything substantial and yet hip-hop is blasted out of every audio orifice. This is no Inbetweeners Jay, who is clearly made the butt of the jokes due to his over exaggerations, but a loud mouth wannabe stifler character who garners far too much attention in a film like this.

Oliver Cooper clearly has talent however, as I do not believe for a second that the actor is as obnoxious as his fictional counterpart. Unfortunately it his the characters voice which sets the tone, and he's not even the lead character.

The tone is lots of drunken jailbait breasts bouncing around to loud music as events head way out of control. The plausibility of what happens isn't really the issue, it's the lack of empathy for these nimrods in a film that forgets the basic element of found footage: you have to be really good at making things look bad. To make things worse, the film takes overdone elements and wears them into the ground a little more, doing nothing to make them more interesting. The popular girl is a bitch, there's a blonde douchebag that turns up, the fat friend is also considered to be a little "special", "great stuff". When a car flies into the swimming pool in the films later half, I yawned. Not only was I immediately reminded of Oasis' third album (or The Who), but that even John Hughes was better at how he staged such scenes. He also understood the importance of consequence, character arcs and general entertainment. I fear now he is slowly rotating in his grave. If however you still find the idea of dogs humping amusing, you may find more than I did here.

Note: The film isn't funny either.

British Film Bloggers Circle: Winners

Just because the Oscars are over, doesn't mean that all the awards have finished! Not at all, as Yesterday the British Film Bloggers Circle winners were also announced! How does that make you feel? Happy? Joyous? Marginally indifferent? However you feel, I'm posting to tell you the winners and pass on some more shameless self promotion as I am part of said Bloggers Circle.


So without further to do, here's the list of winners:

Best Film: Drive

Best Director: Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive)

Best Actor: Jean Dujardin (The Artist)

Best Actress: Tilda Swinton (We Need to Talk about Kevin) 

Best Supporting Actor: Ezra Miller (We Need to Talk about Kevin) and Christian Bale (The Fighter) - TIE

Best Supporting Actress: Berenice Bejo (The Artist)

Best original script:  The Artist and Midnight in Paris  - TIE

Best adapted screenplay: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best film not in the English language: The Skin I Live In

Best British film: Submarine

Breakthrough: Jessica Chastain

So there we are. I will say that one or two results left me hurtling vodka bottles at the founders screaming that (Redacted Film) was robbed, and how I'm going to get Harvey Weinstein to promote my picks next year. However, as a selection of awards, I did find it more unpredictable alternative than a certain star studded event , save for the best film award perhaps. 

Next year, I do hope for a Best Documentary section to be added as many brilliant films such as Senna, The Interrupters and Beats, Rhymes and Life deserved to be seen by more people this year.

So there we have it. It may not have as much glam and glitz as the academy, but at least we won't bore you with a two hour fashion show before the event.

To learn more about The British Film Bloggers Circle here:

 

The British Film Bloggers Circle

As mentioned in my previous post yesterday, I've been picked as one of the bloggers eligible to vote for the British Film Bloggers Circle Awards. The winners will be drawn over the weekend and the list of nominations is here.


What I forget to mention, is what the British Film Bloggers Circle actually is! 


Here's some quotes from Laurent de Alberti, writer at Filmland Empire and one of the Circles founders:

"Spare a thought for  us, poor bloggers, tirelessly spending unpaid hours trying to share our passion and enthusiasm for cinema with the world, all this while being looked down by less charitable, well established journalists... Unlike what that infamous lines from the (godawful) Contagion stated last year, blogging is more than just graffiti with punctuation!"

"An initial idea formed from the lack of community, respect and standards within film blogging."

Now, the fact that I've been asked to be part of this group of  talented writers is is flattering. Unfortunately the mere fact that they've asked me; with my ridiculously low standards and respect for most things, negates their faction as complete insanity. However, as I'm a part of it, I will do my best to take it down from the inside. Especially as I was a big fan of Contagion.


Here's a link explaining more about the circle: 


As stated in the link a website is to follow.

British Film Bloggers Circle Awards: Nominations

Now, I'm not usually one for awards or lists. However, as a bit of fun, I've been asked to cast my vote on the first annual "Bloggies" awards. A bunch of U.K bloggers have got together, made some nominations, and have all cast a vote on our "best" of the year.  Below are the list of nominations which have been selected and the winners will be called over the weekend, which is of course Oscar weekend.  

It'll be interesting to see who wins.

Nominations:

Best Film

Drive

Midnight in Paris

Shame

Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy

The Artist

Best Director

Tomas Alfredson for Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy

Paddy Considine for Tyrannosaur

Michel Hazanavicius for The artist

Steve McQueen for Shame

Lynne Ramsay for We need to talk about Kevin

Nicolas Winding Refn for Drive

Best Actor

Jean Dujardin for The artist

Michael Fassbender for Shame

Ryan Gosling for Drive

Peter Mullan for Tyrannosaur

Gary Oldman for Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy

Michael Shannon for Take Shelter

Best Actress:

Olivia Colman for Tyrannosaur

Kirsten Dunst for Melancholia

Tilda Swinton for We need to talk about Kevin

Jeong-Hie Yun for Poetry

Michelle Williams for My week with Marilyn

Best Supporting Actor:

Christian Bale for The Fighter

Stefano Cassetti for Love like poison

Ezra Miller for We need to talk about Kevin

Corey Stoll for Midnight in Paris

Nick Nolte for Warrior

Best Supporting Actress:

Berenice Bejo for The artist

Jessica Chastain for Take shelter

Charlotte Gainsbourg for Melancholia

Carey Mulligan for Drive

Carey Mulligan for Shame

Best Original Screenplay:

Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen)

Take shelter (Jeff Nichols)

The artist (Michel Hazanavicius)

The guard (John Michael McDonagh)

Tyrannosaur (Paddy Considine)

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Coriolanus (John Logan, screenplay; William Shakespeare, play)

Drive (Hossein Amini, screenplay; James Sallis, book)

The ides of March (George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, screenplay; Beau Willimon, play)

Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy (Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan, screenplay; John Le Carre, novel)

True Grit (Joel & Ethan Coen, screenplay; Charles Portis, novel)

The skin I live in (Pedro & Agustin Almodovar, screenplay; Thierry Jonquin, novel)

We need to talk about Kevin (Lynne Ramsay, Rory Kinnear screenplay; Lionel Shriver novel)

Best film not in the English language:

Incendies

Poetry

The skin I live in

Trollhunters

Tomboy

Best British Film:

Shame

Submarine

Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy

Tyrannosaur

We need to talk about Kevin

Best breakthrough:

Richard Ayoade, Submarine (Director, Writer)

Jessica Chastain, The debt, The tree of like, Take shelter, The help, Coriolanus, Texas killing fields (Actress)

Tom Cullen, Week-end (Actor)

Andrew Haigh, Week-end (Director)

Tom Hiddleston Thor, Deep blue sea, War horse, Archipelago, Midnight in Paris (Actor)