Review: Ted 2

Year: 2015

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Screenplay: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

Starring:  Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, John Slattery, Jessica Barth, Morgan Freeman

Synopsis is here

This potent independent article helped gather some thoughts on Ted 2, the intermittently funny, yet still unnecessary sequel to Seth MacFarlane 2012 hit. Seth wants to have his cake and eat it. Ted plays fast and loose with jokes about black cocks and white niggas and yet the film gives pays little lip service to black people. Yet ted 2 is a film which is about civil rights…to a point. Really Seth wants to be able to make crummy race jokes while still giving the wink that he's a card carrying liberal. Ted the CGI bear wishes to be considered a human and have his surname called Clubberlang. Here, however, you could say he comes off more as an Archie Bungle.

These days any flaw or dislike in a un-P.C piece of media, instantly considers the viewer as over sensitive. You can't have class if you don't like crass. But despite a favourable view of the previous entry and an admirer of MacFarlane’s animated work, my disinterest in Ted 2 is more down to the fact that that Ted 2’s humour feels thinly spread this time round. Gags feel well-worn and lacking in any type of growth. Much like The Hangover franchise. Ted 2 never feels like the shot in the arm that the first entry gave. It feels like a stale re-tread.

It's no surprise that American Dad has grown from strength to strength out of all Seth’s creations. As it favours less of the oblique randomness that litters Family Guy and Ted. In both Ted 2 and his previous film A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014), Seth has pushed even further towards random non sequiturs with none of the Monty Python flair.

But even Family Guy gains more favour due to its ability to lean on its animation. It shouldn’t be said, but the series can have more fun because it’s a cartoon. It’s become more apparent that MacFarlane has a style that he wishes to stick with. This was fine when Ted was viewed as a one shot. A random series of connected vignettes tied by character and crassness. However, this second time round delivers Ted has less of a rouge and more of an asshole. The jokes that miss are, once again, even more targeted to those with a working knowledge of current American pop culture that’s off the beaten track. This mostly leaves Ted making dick jokes, but lacking with the fairy tale element which caused much of the amusement from before. In addition to this, Wahlberg has less to do. Seyfried is coasting in a drab role and while MacFarlane still doesn’t get enough praise for his vocal ability, Ted is far less lovable this time round. Once the first film became a hit, you can see what little earnestness there was, leave Ted and anything connected to it due to money.

It’s a damn shame that Ted opens with hilariously silly MGM musical-lite titles. It reminds you of how much of a song and dance man MacFarlane can be alone with his love for older Hollywood. There’s clearly some comedic gems to mine there. Yet once the film gets to comic con and makes Star Wars gags (another MacFarlane trait), it’s clear that geeky callback culture currently rules all, and MacFarlane only goes balls out with the easy dick, race and gender jokes, but isn’t interested in skewing things any further. Ted 2 finishes up like the results of what you’d get from an easy bake oven. You’re able to digest it, but you’ll probably need something to wash it down with before forgetting you even had it. A sticky mess. 

Review: Terminator Genisys

Year: 2015
Director: Alan Taylor
Screenplay: Laeta Kalogridis, Patrick Lussier
Starring: Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, J. K. Simmons, Dayo Okeniyi, Matt Smith, Courtney B. Vance, and Lee Byung-hun.

Synopsis is…well.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s amusing dig at Family Guy (Cartoon Wars) and how they create their non sequitur jokes and narratives, is still one of the crowning achievements of the 20 season strong show. Stone and Parker took on their “rivals” with the idea that the weak writing in Family Guy stems from the idea that the staff are actually manatees who lob random “idea balls” of pop culture references, verbs, and nouns into a giant machine. The way Cartman vents his displeasure at Family Guy’s still feels on point nine years on:

“I am NOTHING like Family Guy! When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story! Deep, situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a POINT! Not just one interchangeable joke after another!”

Idea Balls have now gone from a satirical jibe to rite of passage when it comes to the summer blockbuster. Upon watching Terminator Genisys, with its incoherent muddle of alternative timelines, killer apps and half considered concepts, it’s hard not to be reminded of the idea balls. Director Alan Taylor doesn’t seem to help matters. Worryingly quoted in an interview with The Daily Beast:  

“My favourite part is using humor to sort of skate over it,” Taylor said, optimistically. “It’s a way of saying, ‘You may not get this, but who cares? Keep going!’ There’s a scene where J.K. Simmons [who plays a detective] comes in and says, ‘What you’re doing seems really complicated.’ And [Sarah Connor] says, ‘We’re here to save the world!’ And he says, ‘I can work with that.’ Basically, that’s what we’re telling the audience: Go with it, we’re saving the world.”

Welcome to the culture of the callback. You know the brand? Good. It’s the only thing that’s cared about. Like Jurassic World, Terminator: Genisys urges you to dismiss logical coherence because you know the name of the franchise. Genisys does well to replicate sequences that were found in James Cameron’s seminal piece of low-fi sci-fi. It enjoys nodding and winking to the mythology, but does so at the expense of decent logic.

It’s easy to dismiss such a criticism. Fans of Jurassic World have exclaimed that you shouldn’t look for sense in a film about modern day dinosaurs. I’m sure many will see me judging a film about time traveling metal assassins a little too harshly. However, it’s now starting to bother me about the amount of films that people are telling me to ignore the storyline and just consume. Isn’t that why we go to the movies, to see good looking escapism well told? Instead of asking why I’m looking for more, may I question why we are settling for less? I find this especially frustrating when considering original sources for these blockbuster franchises. Which were enjoyable for how well they constructed their escapism.

Genisys trudges from timeline to timeline with little to no rhyme or reason, bringing with it another charmless performance from Jai Courtney and a dubiously perky display from Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke. Together they hold a certain chemistry, but it’s one that would play better in a Nicholas Sparks film. Jason Clarke, Matt Smith and J.K Simmons do what they can with piecemeal roles, while Lee Byung-hun gets royally shafted by being the right person in the wrong film. His role as a villainous T-1000 is better than the film deserves. Genisys decides the best thing to do with him making sure that his role doesn’t make sense, before burying him as quickly as possible. It’s frustrating to see an actor shoved into a role with no other reason other than to pad out the films running time.

What about Arnie? As opposed to my issues with The Last Stand (2013) in which Schwarzengger came off as stiff and awkward, he once again shows that he was born to play the T-800. Although this time it seems clear that Arnie is having a hard time trying his hardest not corpse in his scenes. Annoyingly, Genisys’ lousy screenplay ups the ante by making the character more “human”. So now we have Arnie crack more jokes and parody the role as if the film was directed by a Zucker brother.

Genisys is actually directed by Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World). An experienced T.V and film director, Taylor delivers competent action sequences and frames the throwback 1984 sequence meticulously.  But to what avail? Genisys’ horrid screenplay would be a quagmire for any filmmaker to work with. It’s confusing, confounding, and full of risible dialogue. It’s also constantly hedging its bets on explaining itself in future instalments. A trend that I’m finding more and more loathsome as I grow older and realise more and more that my time on this earth is finite.

However, people’s hunger for franchise lip service seems to be limitless. Terminator Genisys has an extremely healthy IMDB rating, which happily laughs in my cynical face. That’s fine. I wish those fans no ill will. I however will sleep easier tonight once the lingering images of Genisys leave me like a ghost completing its unfinished business.  

Review: Ted

Year: 2012
Director: Seth MacFarlane
Screenplay: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild
Starring; Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale,

Synopsis is here

If you have ever taken any major issue with any of Seth MacFarlane's animated television work (Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show), I see little to no reason for you to watch Ted. It is the film equivalent. Playing on the same tropes that have done him so well since his Larry and Steve shorts, Ted deals with a naive male who has an anthropomorphic toy bear as his best friend. It is a loaded truck of pop culture references and absurd physical slapstick, with a loose plot line to hang everything together. It is a format that has made him a multimillionaire. Like so many trends that empties greenbacks out of pockets, it appears to me that if Seth doesn't think the situation is broken, why should he fix it?

Much like those Star Wars films; MacFarlane routinely parodies, Ted wrings as much out of a premise as its creator can. You are told to "write what you know" and Seth knows this relationship very well, as Ted (MacFarlane) and John (Wahlberg) launch into a series of loosely connected vignettes about them smoking joints, partying and causing grief for the long suffering Lori (Kunis in the Lois role). It's hard not to notice that we've seen this before. Especially as someone who has their late night insomnia fuelled by the exploits of Stan Smith and his wacky family on BBC3. Despite the faint feeling of staleness, the switch from animated to "proper" film making has not lessened MacFarlane's timing and gags. The trails and tribulations of a once happy minor celebrity bear now battered by the harsh realities of life (with added crass humour) works exceedingly well in the hands of a guy like Seth. There's dick and fart jokes at their premium.

It would be easy to attack the films lack of a decent narrative, however, MacFarlane preempts this with an early homage to Airplane (a scene which in itself parodies Saturday Night Fever), reminding us that so much humour at its heart runs on a certain type of illogicality to function. With this said, all jokes have a target and while I'm holding my sides with laughter at some of the films precise crassness and throwback humour (a major set piece and cameo had me in fits), many in the audience found laughs in the "easiest" jokes. The sexually suggestive bear brings amusement, the references to 80's films and T.V did not. MacFarlane's fixation with taking the piss out of Top Gun and Octopussy are fine for late 20 somethings (and over) in a state of arrested development (see me raise my hand) but were clearly lost on those born after 1991. Some references are so neatly odd, that it helps date the movie its own way.

A minor quibble, however, for a film that is in my opinion, a very funny and warm film. The relationship between John and Ted is the film's heart, and the chemistry between Wahlberg and MacFarlane is the thumping man-child heart of the movie. A naive, child-like Wahlberg is always a great Wahlberg and much like Boogie Nights and The Other Guys, he once more, puts in the work. MacFarlane's Boston bear is little more than a more outlandish Peter Griffin voiceover, although once again, Ted recognises this with a throwaway gag. Kunis is fine with a bland role, which does nothing but remind you that she could have been given a funnier role in something like this. Such is life.

Ted will not win over those who already abstain from those who hate MacFarlane. While those whose pop culture starts and ends with TOWIE may find some references fly over their heads. In addition to this, MacFarlane's button pushing sometimes feels a little trite. His jokes on race aren't so much offensive, rather than forced. For me Ted brings laughs when we're given the stupid pop culture and the lead relationship takes centre stage. The chemistry is so strong between a man and his talking toy bear that when a television lands on the character's penis (pop culture crushing manhood metaphor ahoy) I had to laugh.